Today’s post was written by my sister-in-law. It’s a thoughtful read; I also recommend reading Is Your Job Worth It? How Much Is It Costing You?
The title may sound surprising: “Don’t Make More Money?” seems contradictory. I could have chosen titles like “Just Don’t Do It” or “Say No, Now,” but before I explain why I sometimes say “no” to earning more, let me introduce myself.
Hi, I’m Ariel. My husband and I both work full time, we’re in school — he’s completing his degree and I’m working on mine — and we have three kids.
It’s as exhausting as it sounds, and I do like life on the busy side. We bought our house when we were 20 and 21 and already had a one-year-old daughter. At that time he juggled two jobs while attending school full time, and I worked two part-time jobs. We budgeted carefully and pinched pennies, but money was so tight we qualified for a small monthly amount of food assistance. Buying our home was one of the best decisions we made, but it made getting by more difficult for a while.
As the years passed, we had more children, he completed his undergraduate degree, and I began pursuing mine. For the past 11 years, each of us has typically held between two and five jobs at any given time. We relied on credit cards and borrowed from family to get through some seasons. Today everything is paid off, and the relief of that debt disappearing is immense. Even now, when we can save and occasionally spend on family vacations, talking about our financial past still feels painful.
We were young when we took on so much work and, at the time, saying “yes” to every opportunity was the right decision for our family. But as our finances improved, we continued to accept more work until the pressure of earning became the norm instead of a temporary phase.
How I started saying “no”
Over the past couple of years, the stress of all those jobs weighed heavily on me. With three children, I want to be present for school events and extracurricular activities, but I felt guilty that I couldn’t contribute as much financially as my husband did through his full-time job. To compensate, while attending school full time I added babysitting, house cleaning, more hours at current jobs, and anything else I could find.
At first, the extra income felt liberating. I stopped worrying about small purchases: morning coffee, dinners out, buying the kids what they wanted, even splurges like getting my nails done. But after a while I realized I had stopped doing the thrifty, resourceful things that used to save us money and bring satisfaction.
I began to remember the frugal habits I used to practice:
- I was meticulous about meal planning and grocery shopping. When our household was just four people, I managed on about $75 a week for groceries.
- I cooked nearly every meal, avoided disposable products, and made my own cleaning supplies.
- I even sewed cloth diapers from thrift-store fabric, and the sense of accomplishment that brought me was real.
Those habits weren’t only practical; they felt meaningful. As we earned more, I gradually abandoned them. I found myself working months where I held five jobs totaling 50+ hours a week. Some of those jobs, like in-home child care, paid less than minimum wage once you consider time spent traveling and prep work. It dawned on me that a lot of the spending came from a place of scarcity in time rather than real need.
Instead of preparing dinner, we grabbed takeout. Instead of brewing coffee at home, I stopped for a latte. Instead of hunting for bargains at resale shops, I went straight to the mall. That convenience came at a cost: more money spent and less satisfaction gained.
When I made a conscious decision to stop taking extra hours and to say “no” to new job requests, something shifted. I found time to make dinner again — something I truly enjoy doing for my family. I returned to meal planning, grocery shopping with intention, and using everything we bought instead of letting food go to waste. There’s nothing more disheartening than tossing out spoiled groceries because you didn’t have time to use them.
Life remains busy with school and kids, but we’re intentionally slowing down. This summer we plan to work a little less and focus on family time. We’re starting a vegetable garden, looking for free local activities, spending afternoons at the library, and hoping a bit more rest will reduce our reliance on coffee runs.
I still enjoy earning money, and I’m not anti-work. What’s changed is my approach: I’m more selective about the jobs I accept. I say “no” to opportunities that will increase stress or take away meaningful family time, and I say “yes” to work that truly enhances our lives.
Could saying “no” to certain income opportunities actually help you save more? Do you find your job forces you into habits that increase spending?