Do you think parents should help pay for their children’s college education? Should parents be required to pay for their children’s college expenses?
These are difficult questions with no easy answers, but they’re important to consider as the cost of higher education continues to rise.
This issue is personal for many families and close to my own experience. A driving reason I started Making Sense of Cents was to escape $40,000 in student loan debt (you can read about how I paid off my student loans in just 7 months).
My loan balance exceeded the national average, and it’s often parents who end up taking out loans to pay for their children’s education. I’ve read stories of parents who borrowed more than $200,000 to send their kids to school. Those parents frequently find themselves struggling financially and falling behind on retirement planning because they wanted to help.
What’s more surprising is how many parents assume it’s normal for families to cover full college costs. Many believe every student receives that level of parental support. For parents, deciding whether to finance a child’s education is a tense and emotional choice.
I receive many emails from parents wondering whether they should risk—or even sacrifice—their retirement to pay for their child’s college. A few real examples I’ve heard:
- One family covered everything for a child in medical school—tuition, rent, food, car—and now fear their retirement plans are gone.
- Another couple took out more than $100,000 in loans in their names to pay for a child’s schooling; they are now off track for retirement and weighed down by other personal debt.
- A mother told me her and her husband fought constantly over the student loans they accrued. They struggle with daily bills and aren’t prepared for retirement because they felt they had to pay.
- In one case, parents supporting a child in law school were threatened emotionally: the child said they would hate the parents if funding stopped. The tension grew when the parents gave the child printed copies of my blog posts—an attempt to explain financial reality—which only made the situation worse for them financially and emotionally.
Hearing these stories is painful. Many parents go deeper into debt without their children understanding the severity of the parents’ financial situation. Students often assume tuition and living costs are obligations their parents must fulfill.
To be transparent, I’m not a parent, and I recognize that for many families this is an incredibly hard decision. I paid my way through college—covering housing, food, tuition, and transportation—and while challenging, it was achievable. I don’t resent my parents for not paying; instead, I appreciate the lessons in self-reliance and money management. Frankly, I’d be more upset if my parents had harmed their own financial future to fund my schooling.
If you’re a parent contemplating whether to pay for college, don’t feel pressured just because it seems expected. If you can genuinely afford it without jeopardizing your retirement, that’s a different story. But before taking on loans or cosigning, carefully consider your own financial security. Ask yourself: are you on track for retirement? Will this loan push you into crippling debt?
Related content:
- I Thought I Was Too Good For Community College
- Learning How To Survive On A College Budget
- Refinance Your Student Loans And Save An Average of $18,668
Quick note: If you want guidance on college funding, consider resources like the webinar “6 Steps To Quickly Secure Scholarships For College.” Jocelyn Paonita Pearson, founder of The Scholarship System, has helped students secure substantial scholarship funding by following this approach.
Parents, think carefully before cosigning or taking out college loans.
The default rate on student loans averages around 10–15%, and most student loans are cosigned by parents or other family members. If you cosign and the borrower defaults, you become responsible for the debt.
Cosigning is a serious commitment. Money often strains family relationships; disagreements over loan repayment can lead to fractured relationships and even intentional default by the student in extreme cases. As painful as that is to imagine, it does happen.
Before you cosign or assume large loans, understand the potential consequences. Consider alternatives and set clear expectations with your child about responsibility and repayment.
Related posts:
- How I Paid Off $40,000 In Student Loans In 7 Months
- 6 Ways To Save Thousands of Dollars On College Costs
- Would you risk your relationship and finances to cosign for a friend?
Students often perform better academically when they share the financial burden.
Research and reporting, including coverage by Forbes, suggest that students whose parents pay full tuition may perform worse academically on average. The assumption that removing financial pressure lets students focus solely on studies overlooks another reality: students who contribute to their own education tend to take it more seriously.
Working while in school can build time management, discipline, and commitment—traits that often translate to better academic performance. While this isn’t universally true, it’s worth considering that having some skin in the game can motivate students to succeed.
Parents can support their children in many meaningful, less costly ways.
If you can’t or choose not to pay full tuition without jeopardizing your retirement, there are many practical ways to support your children through college:
- Provide emotional support. Listen, offer advice, and help them make realistic plans for school and finances.
- Teach personal finance. Help them create a budget, understand loans, and develop healthy money habits that will serve them for life.
- Help them earn money. Encourage part-time work, internships, freelancing, or side gigs so they can contribute to their expenses and gain experience.
- Suggest affordable alternatives. Discuss options like community college, in-state public universities, or completing general education credits locally before transferring to a four-year school.
- Assist with applications and scholarship searches. Many scholarships go unclaimed because students don’t apply. Help them identify opportunities and complete applications or essays.
- Set limits on financial support. Instead of covering everything, define what you can contribute—such as housing, a portion of tuition, or occasional help—and encourage independence in other areas.
- Introduce tools for tracking finances. Financial apps and trackers can help students monitor expenses and build long-term habits. They also allow parents to see progress and model good financial planning.
Is it a good idea for parents to pay for college?
My view is that parents should consider funding their child’s college education only if they are on track for retirement. While there are many ways to finance college—savings, loans, grants, scholarships—there is only one way to fund retirement: by saving and investing over time. You can’t borrow your way into a secure retirement.
Do not sacrifice your retirement to pay for a child’s education. Evaluate your financial position honestly. If helping your child would derail your retirement goals, be candid with yourself and with them. Most parents’ desire to fully fund a child’s education comes from love, but love can be shown in many ways that don’t require risking your future security.
Do you think parents should be required to pay for college? Should parents jeopardize their retirement to help their children?